SELF PORTRAITS

It is a painter’s trick. Rembrandt, Picasso, Bonnard, several come to mind. Mirrors are used when imagination fails. One is pulled away from the landscapes, bouquets, faces of others, street scenes and classical and biblical myths and stories haunting one’s studio. Suddenly one senses something has changed about oneself. Perhaps one’s lover has noticed something different in one’s aging or one’s art. One looks away to find what it is. One glances in a mirror at oneself. At first one’s vision is fleeting, being defensive and impromptu, then one chooses to distort what one sees, insisting it is nothing visible. Then one looks again more seriously, like an examining physician, and one wants to be literal, as it were, scientific, seeking a treatment or even a cure. But what does one actually see? Is one’s self becoming factual? Gradually one insists there is more to it than what appears to be. The change isn’t evident, since one barely looked at oneself before. What have others seen? what is hidden from one’s self that looks into the mirror? One becomes obsessed with the idea of finding out what never interested one before. By staring one finds nothing different. Then by staring at different times, one finds little changes by looking ever more closely. If one takes breaks and then returns, a little more is seen each time to have changed. If it isn’t physical, is it an attitude or a mood that is different each time one looks? It doesn’t occur to one that anyone else’s opinion would matter. For once one is looking without expectation of being seen or as a professional artist one isn’t being paid for what one is seeing. This unexpected practice of looking at oneself has no value to anyone else. It is a diversion, and in a certain sense it is a relief from, dare one say, money. Nothing is to be gained by such preoccupation. It is a private, perhaps even a perverse, activity, away from anyone’s immediate interest. Also, it is not an act of self-preservation. An artist’s value isn’t in what he sees in himself but what he reveals by the way he looks at any other thing. Many who are only self-preoccupied would disagree vehemently. Straining, however, to see in a mirror only what is hidden in one’s self is best left to the mirror, which has no opinion of itself. Is it thus objective? Yes, but only when one isn’t looking at it having no opinion of its own. An artist mustn’t be attracted to a non-existence. Whether sighted or blind an artist’s passion is thus not to see only the outer self. If the artist turns to self-portraiture at all or even fleetingly it is only in mockery, not in wonder at the power of art.If he is increasingly afraid of what he sees, he may turn away in memory to earlier paintings, for instance, of nudes, based on real models, whose sexuality he observed, desired and he thinks now he captured more vividly and accurately than any unattractive portrait of himself. He is restimulated, almost aroused, forgets he is older or even old, and turns the mirror around to its blank frame, and discovers at least in memory he has stopped aging.HWM

25 thoughts on “SELF PORTRAITS”

  2. Greetings I am so thrilled I found your website, I really
    found you by accident, while I was researching on Askjeeve for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a remarkable post and a
    all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t
    have time to read it all at the minute but I have
    book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will
    be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the awesome
    work.

  3. I seriously love your website.. Great colors
    & theme. Did you create this amazing site yourself?
    Please reply back as I’m trying to create my own blog and would like
    to know where you got this from or what the theme is named.
    Appreciate it!

  6. Thanks for your marvelous posting! I seriously
    enjoyed reading it, you’re a great author.I will
    ensure that I bookmark your blog and will often come back someday.
    I want to encourage one to continue your great writing,
    have a nice afternoon!

  8. Great post. I used to be checking continuously this weblog and
    I am inspired! Very helpful info specially the final part 🙂 I take care of such information a lot.
    I used to be seeking this particular info for a very long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

  10. You really make it appear really easy along with your
    presentation however I to find this topic to be actually one thing that I
    think I’d by no means understand. It kind of feels too complicated and very large
    for me. I am taking a look forward for your next submit, I will attempt to
    get the cling of it!

  12. hey there and thank you for your info ? I have certainly
    picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points using this website,
    as I experienced to reload the site lots of times previous to I could get it to load correctly.
    I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK?
    Not that I am complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and can damage your
    high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords.
    Anyway I?m adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for much more of your respective exciting content.
    Make sure you update this again very soon..

  13. Appreciating the time and effort you put into your site
    and in depth information you offer. It’s nice to come across a blog every once in a while
    that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Great read!

    I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  14. hey there and thank you for your info ? I?ve definitely picked
    up anything new from right here. I did however expertise some technical issues
    using this web site, as I experienced to reload the website
    many times previous to I could get it to load
    correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is OK?

    Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes
    affect your placement in google and can damage your quality score if ads
    and marketing with Adwords. Well I am adding this RSS to
    my e-mail and can look out for much more of your respective interesting content.

    Ensure that you update this again soon..

  17. What’s Going down i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve
    discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads.
    I hope to contribute & help different customers like its helped me.
    Good job.

  19. Having read this I thought it was really enlightening.
    I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this content together.

    I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and
    commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

  20. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter
    to be actually something which I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me.
    I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of
    it!

Leave a Reply